| JULY 1961. |
| AN OLD SOLDIER REMEMBERS ... |
| BATTERY WILL DEPLOY. |
| We have just put the gun in this field. Yes, we know it is under three feet of water at high tide. Yes, we know it is full of snakes. So is Regimental Headquarters. |
| This is the Camouflage Officer. These are his suede shoes. Yes, we know all about concealment. Delighted to give you a good hiding anytime. You want the gun position to look like an Indian village? Or we could harness a horse to it and make it look like a tonga. Camouflaged, anyway? Oh, you won't be able to see us here at all. Especially at high tide. Anytime you're passing, do pass. |
| This is the Signals Officer. He wants to know where to put our telephone. We signal him. He signals back. How rude! |
| This is the owner of the field. He has lost two chickens. Where is Gunner Wotherspoon? He is cooking a chicken. Where is the other chicken? Cooked. The owner of the field approaches Gunner Wotherspoon. He is angry. Gunner Wotherspoon soothes him. With a rock. |
| This is an Infantry Officer. Do we know that this is one of his nodal points? We tell him we had nodal idea. He giggles. We give him a defective round to play with. And a hammer. We get a signature for it. |
| Here is the Brigadier. He doesn't like our position. Here is the Colonel. He doesn't like our accommodation. Here is the Adjutant. He doesn't like our attitude. |
| This is the cookhouse. We ask Gunner Wotherspoon why he is eating the chicken. He has had a good idea. He is going to make soup with the bones. We take him by the hand. And twist it behind his back. |
| The Brigadier has found the gun pit. We help him in. The Colonel has found a slit trench. We help him out. The Adjutant has found the sanitary arrangements. We can't help him there. |
| The Brigadier knows of a better field a hundred yards away. It is under four feet of water at high tide. We will move there forthwith. We will take everything. Including poison... |
| Anon. |
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