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Leader Magazine
WINTER 1962.
"DEAR MUM,".
98788201 J/Spaceman Gamma Ray,
Cambrai Troop, Delta Company,
All Arms Lunar Leaders Regiment,
Towyn, Province of Wales.
5 Dec. 2000.
Dear Mum,
Just a short note to give you some space-age news, and to tell you what Army life is like. It isn't anything like Dad said.
I was awakened this morning by the voice of the RSM cooing over the Transmutor; I lay a little while watching the neutron wall-sign flashing, lighting up the word "Reveille". I could hear the sound of my AutoBull machine as it pressed my suit, and I watched my little robot window-cleaner (the one you bought me) busy polishing my mate's glasses. After my Toothwashshaveret had done its stuff, I fell out of bed into my space-suit, and cleaned up my bed-space, which is easy now we have Staybright floors. My only other job before breakfast was to feed the Platoon's budgerigars, and to give special high-protein seed to the broody ones. On my way to breakfast I had a look at the automatic NCO, which flashes out orders in different coloured lights.
The food here is deteriorating fast. Instead of getting one red pill and four blue pills, we get just one red pill and two blue pills for breakfast, and if you complain you get another blue pill dropped on your plate.
After breakfast we had our morning inspection. The Geiger-counter picked me up for having too much radio-active dust on my, suit (must get the AutoBull machine serviced at Christmas) and I got a lecture from the tape-recorder in the Confinement Cell. I got out just in time for RSM's Meditation Parade. His thoughts were rather deafening at times, (he's been on a Pirbright Telepathy Drill Course, you know) as he taught us how to present Ray Guns.
The rest of the morning was a CCD period, and we had another dance. I learnt the Geiger Twist, which isn't bad, but I still prefer the Fallout Rock, anytime. And so it goes on, there's hardly anything new, and it's a bit difficult to know what to put in letters. Even in our hobby (Amateur Radio) we just make simple transistorcomputortransmitters all the time, and a lot of interest has gone out of the Menai Bridge camp since they moved Anglesey and joined it onto Towyn. The half-term trip in the Regimental Interhoverstratocar (presented by the Nuffield Trust) wasn't bad though.
One bit of variety they have introduced is an Olde Worlde Cookhouse, where we can have meals just like they had fifty years ago, caviare, oysters, venison, fresh peaches - not bad, but they actually expect you to serve yourself! They must have been strange days in the 1960's: in the passage of our billets there are pictures of Cambrai Troop through the ages. The present C-in-C Moon Garrison Lieutenant-General Neil, looks funny in his old Lieutenant's uniform. It seems he used to wear a skirt!
Not long before I see you and wish you
A Merry Christmas and a happy Nu-Clear,
Your loving son,
GAMMA
(This article was contributed by members of Cambrai Platoon.)
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